Abagabo benshi barinda basaza bagitoranya abagore bagomba kuzabana nabo bakabura amahirwe yo kubaka ubuzima bufatika.

Abagabo benshi barinda basaza bagitoranya abagore bagomba kuzabana nabo bakabura amahirwe yo  kubaka ubuzima bufatika.

 

Hari abagabo benshi barinda basaza bakigorwa no gutoranya abagore, rimwe na rimwe bikabaviramo gukenyuka mu rukundo, gutinya kwiyemeza, cyangwa gutakaza amahirwe yo kugira urugo rwubakitse. Ibi bifite impamvu zitandukanye zishobora gusesengurwa mu buryo bwimbitse, harimo izishingiye ku mico, imyumvire, ubwoba, n’ukuntu ubuzima bumeze muri iki gihe.

 

Impamvu zishoboka zituma abagabo bamwe badasohoka mu cyemezo:

Gutinya kwiyemeza (commitment):

 

Bamwe batinya guhuzwa n’umuntu umwe akaramata,

 

Batinya guhomba ubwisanzure bwabo cyangwa inyungu zabo.

 

Gutinya gukora amakosa:

 

“Ngomba kumubanza nkamumenya cyane…”, ariko bikarangira imyaka irenze.

 

Guhora batekereza ko hari “undi mwiza kurusha uwo bari bafite ubu”.

 

Kubura icyerekezo cy’ubuzima cyangwa ubushobozi:

 

Abumva bataragera ku rwego rujyanye n’inshingano z’urugo,

 

Ibibazo by’amafaranga, akazi, cyangwa ubuzima butajegajega.

 

Kuba bararezwe mu buryo bw’umugabo udasaba cyangwa utiyemeza.

 

Mu mico imwe, umugabo ashyirwaho igitutu cyo kuba “afite byose” mbere yo gutekereza ku muryango.

 

Amateka y’ihungabana mu rukundo:

 

Bamwe baba barakomeretse, bakanga kongera kwishinga gushaka.

 

Ingaruka z’iyi myitwarire:

Basigara bonyine batishimye, cyangwa bagaragara nk’abadashobotse,

 

Bituma bagira ubwoba bwo gusaza bonyine, cyangwa gusanga bafite imyaka myinshi nta rugo rufatika,

 

Abo bagerageje gukundana na bo barabacika, babona nta cyerekezo.

 

Igisubizo:

Gutoranya ni byiza, ariko kurambagiza ubuziraherezo ni ikosa.

 

Umugabo wese agomba kumenya ko nta muntu utunganye, gufata icyemezo ni ukwemera gukura no gukemura ibibazo muri kumwe.

 

Urugo ni ishuri, si ahantu ho kujya umaze kuba mwiza mu bintu byose.

 

 

“Guhitamo kuruta kubaka?”, Impamvu bamwe mu bagabo barinda gusaza batarubaka ingo

 

Kigali, mu gihe abari n’abategarugori benshi bamaze kwakira no kumenya agaciro ko kwiyubakira ejo hazaza n’imiryango iboneye, hari abagabo benshi bagikomeje kurindagira mu nzira y’urukundo, bamwe bagasaza batarashinga urugo. Abasesenguzi n’abahanga mu mibanire bavuga ko iyi myitwarire ifite imizi miremire: mu mico, mu mateka y’ihungabana, ndetse no mu myumvire mishya y’ubuzima bw’ubu.

 

Impamvu nyamukuru zituma abagabo bamwe batabasha gufata icyemezo

 

Ubwoba bwo kwiyemeza (commitment phobia)

 

Batinya kubaho mu buzima busaba guhora batekereza kuri mugenzi wabo no kumwitaho.

 

Hari abumva ko bakwimwa amahirwe yo guhura n’abandi benshi, bityo ntibabone uwo “mwiza kurusha bose”.

 

Gushaka “utagira inenge”

 

Umugabo umwe yagize ati: “Buri gihe mba mbona hari ikibura ku mukobwa. Ntegereza nk’uko wategereza imodoka nshya buri mwaka.”

 

Ubu buryo bwo kubona ko nta n’umwe uhagije bushobora gushingira ku bwoba bwo kwishora mu mibanire itazamara igihe, ariko nanone ntibikwiye kuko ibitekerezo byiza nibyo birema urugo rwiza, kandi umuntu aba agomba kuba uwo yifuza ko mugenzi we azaba we. Mu mico yo mu myumvire ipfuye rero, abagabo bo bumva bafite uburenganzira bwokubaho uko bashaka ariko abagore babo bo bakabaho uko abo bagabo babishaka.

 

Ni hamwe uzasanga umugabo yarishyize ku isoko, akabwira abakobwa bose ko atagira umukunzi, ariko ntashake ko umukunzi we agira undi muntu umureba byonyine gusa.

 

Imitekerereze y’umuryango

 

Hari abagabo batekereza ko mbere yo gushaka bagomba kubanza kugira inzu, imodoka, akazi gahoraho n’ubwizigame.

 

Me Jules Nsengiyumva, usanzwe aregera imanza z’abashakanye, ati: “Bamwe bibwira ko kuba umugabo bisaba ibintu birenze ubushobozi bwo gukunda no kugira umutima. Kandi nyamara urugo ni ishuri, si icyambu cy’abageze i Kigali.”

 

Ihungabana ryatewe n’amateka

 

Bamwe baba barakomeretse bikomeye mu rukundo, bakiyemeza ko batazongera kwinjira mu mibanire.

 

Hari n’abandi barerwa mu miryango aho basanze ababyeyi batabanye neza, bikababera imbogamizi mu kwizera umubano.

 

Abahanga mu mibanire babivugaho

 

Dr. Clarisse Umutoni, impuguke mu mibanire n’imitekerereze y’abantu, avuga ko:

 

“Abagabo benshi batekereza ko urukundo nyarwo ari nk’igikombe bahabwa igihe cyose bamaze kuba intwari. Ariko sibyo. Umubano nyawo ni igikorwa cyandikwa n’abantu babiri, ku munsi ku wundi.”

 

Ese gutinda gufata icyemezo ni uburenganzira?

 

Yego, umuntu afite uburenganzira bwo gutinda, ariko na none afite inshingano ku buzima bwe. Gutinya gufata icyemezo bisiga urwobo mu buzima, ndetse bamwe bagasanga basigaye bonyine, bari mu zabukuru batagira uwo kuganira.

 

Isomo: Urugo si ahantu ho kujya umaze kuba mwiza mu bintu byose

 

Ushobora gufata icyemezo uko uri, ugakomera ku byo wifuza n’ibyo mwubakira hamwe. Umwanya wose utegereje “uwujuje ibisabwa byose” ushobora kuba uri gutakaza umuntu mwari gufatanya kubaka ayo mahame.

 

Ese nawe utekereza ko ari byiza gutegereza uwo ubona ari mwiza kurusha bose, cyangwa wemeranya n’abavuga ko kubaka urugo ari urugendo rutozwa?