Dore icyo wakora igihe wumva hari umuntu ukumbuye akaba ari kure yawe.
Dore icyo wakora igihe wumva hari umuntu ukumbuye akaba ari kure yawe.
Iyo wumva hari umuntu ukumbuye akaba ari kure yawe, biba birimo amarangamutima akomeye; urukumbuzi, irungu, akenshi n’agahinda. Dore ibintu byubaka wakora kugira ngo uhangane n’icyo gihe kandi ukomeze uwo mubano mu buryo bwiza:
- Emera amarangamutima yawe
Ntugahatire kwiyumvisha ko bitariho. Kwifuza kuba hafi y’umuntu ukunda ni ibisanzwe kandi ni ikimenyetso cy’urukundo cyangwa ubusabane bukomeye.
- Shaka uburyo bwo kuvugana na we
Hamagara cyangwa wandike ubutumwa: WhatsApp, email, Messenger cyangwa urwandiko rwa kera. Ijambo rimwe rishobora guhumuriza umutima.
Vuga ku rukumbuzi rwawe mu buryo bworoheje: Urugero:
“Nakumbuye uko wansetsaga turi kumwe, byari ibihe byiza.”
Byubaka aho kubabaza.
- Kumwoherereza ikimwibutsa ko umukumbuye
Amafoto y’ibihe mwagiranye, indirimbo yibutsa uko mwari mumeze, cyangwa utuntu duto nk’impano.
Urugero:
“Nateze iyi ndirimbo numva nkuri iruhande.”
- Uko utari kumwe na we, shaka uko wuzuza icyo cyuho
Jya ahantu heza agukumbuza, soma ubutumwa bwe bwa kera, wandike uko wiyumva.
Shyira mu bikorwa ibikorwa byiza byamugushushanyirizagaho: gusoma, guteka, gutembera ahantu mwajyaga.
- Andika ibaruwa utazohereza (journal)
Ibyo ushaka kumubwira byose byandike. Bituma umutima utuza. Ushobora kubika ayo magambo cyangwa ukazayamuha igihe mwongeye guhura.
- Fata amahame y’icyo urukumbuzi rukwigisha
Rimwe na rimwe urukumbuzi rutwigisha byinshi:
Uko dufite agaciro ku mubano wacu n’abandi;
Uko buri kanya twagombye kuwubungabunga.
- Shyira icyizere ku hazaza
Aho kumva gusa uburebure bw’urugendo, jya utekereza igihe muzongera guhura:
“Ndatekereza uko tuzongera guhura, tuzicara turi kumwe nk’uko twabyifuzaga.”
- Senga cyangwa ujye mu mwuka wo gusabana n’Imana (ku bemera)
Hari abakumva umutuzo mu isengesho:
“Mana, muringe ku nzira ze, umfashe kwihanganira iri rungu n’izi ntege nke z’amarangamutima.”
- Komeza ubuzima bwawe neza.
Kora siporo, jya mu bikorwa by’urukundo (byo gufasha abakene n’abababaye), gendana n’inshuti.
Uburyo ukomeza kwita ku buzima bwawe n’ibyishimo byawe, ni bwo n’uwo muntu azakomeza kugukunda no kukwubaha.
- Niba urukumbuzi rukabije, jya kuganira n’umujyanama
Urukumbuzi rushobora kuvamo agahinda gakabije cyangwa kwigunga bikabije. Icyo gihe, kuganira n’umujyanama w’amarangamutima (counselor) birafasha cyane.
Ijambo ry’ihumure:
“Urukumbuzi si uburwayi; ni ikimenyetso cy’uko hari awo umutima wawe ufitanye isano nawe. Ntuzibagirwe ko kure atari ko kutabana, ahubwo kutibagirana ni ko guturana.”
Reka nkwandikire urwandiko ruvuye ku mutima, rwuzuyemo ubutumwa bwo gukumbura umuntu uri kure, rufite ururimi rw’amarangamutima, ubushishozi n’ubwuzu, rwaba urw’umukunzi, inshuti, umuvandimwe, cyangwa undi muntu wawe w’ingenzi.
Urwandiko ku muntu uri kure – “Nturi hano, ariko uri hafi y’umutima”
Ku wankoze ku mutima, uri kure y’amaso ariko hafi cyane y’umutima,
Uyu munsi ndicaye ndeba ikirere. N’ubwo ntari kumwe nawe, ndumva umutima wanjye wuje ibyo ngushakaho: ijwi ryawe, guseka kwawe, ya sura yawe, ndetse n’ijambo ryawe rimwe ryampumurizaga igihe numvaga isi yanze kumvaho.
Nta mpamvu y’ibinyoma cyangwa amagambo aringaniye. Ndagukumbuye mu buryo bwimbitse. Ndagukumbuye uko wambaga hafi n’ubwo bitari ngombwa, uko wasabaga ko ngira icyo ndya, uko wasetsaga ku bintu byinshi abandi batabona.
Iyo irungu ndyiyumvamo, nshyira umutima ku byo twanyuzemo. Hari igihe nibaza niba waba unkumbura nk’uko nkumbuye wowe. Ariko ntibikenewe ko ubinyemeza. Ibyo wansize mu mutima birahagije. Ibyo wambwiye, ibyo twasezeranye, n’uburyo unyubakamo n’ubwo uri kure bimbwira byose.
Ndakumenyereye n’ubundi mu buryo bwihariye. Bucece, aho abandi batakwumva, aho isi igira urusaku ariko umutima ugahitamo guceceka kugira ngo ugushushanye mu bitekerezo byanjye. Buri gitondo ntangira ngusengera mu bitekerezo byanjye, buri joro nkagusiga mu nzozi n’ubwo ntazi niba nanjye nkugeraho mu zawe.
Kuba utari hafi yanjye ntibivuze ko wagiye. Utaboneka mu maso, ariko uri iburyo bw’umitima wanjye. Ukaba intangiriro n’iherezo ry’amasengesho yanjye, isoko y’icyizere cyanjye, n’impamvu yo gukomeza no kwizera ko umunsi umwe nzongera kukubona.
Ndagushimira: ku rukundo utanga, ku kuba udahinduka n’ubwo ibihe bihinduka. Ndagusabira amahoro aho uri, n’icyizere ko uko wakumbuwe, ari ko uzakira urukumbuzi nanjye nagusigiye.
Umenye ko aho ugeze hose hari umuntu ugukumbura bikagera aho umutima utemba amarangamutima.
Sinzibagirwa. Sinzagutenguha. Sinzarekera aho kugukumbura mu rukundo rwihanganye.
Uwawe, uwo wagiye usigira urukumbuzi rutazima.
[Izina ryawe]
Mu buryo bw’urwandiko ruvuye ku mutima:
“Iyo utari hano, ntekereza aho uri hose…”
Ubundi sinigeze menya ko gukumbura ari ibintu bifite uburemere. Natekerezaga ko ari amagambo y’urukundo rwa filime, ko ari amagambo meza abantu babwirana mu butumwa. None uyu munsi, nkumbuye nk’udakumbura. Nkumbuye kugeza aho isaha imwe isa n’iy’umwaka.
Iyo ntakumva, ndakwandika. Iyo ntakubona, ndakuzirikana. Iyo ntari kumwe nawe, ndakwiyumvisha.
Kuko icyo turi cyo ntikibarwa n’intera iri hagati y’ahantu habiri. Kibarwa n’iyo nzira y’amarangamutima ntambuka buri munsi, ngusanga mu bitekerezo, nkakubwira ibitajya hanze, nkagusomera indirimbo ntaririmba, nkagusangiza amahoro y’ijoro mu mutima.
Hari ubwo nkubona mu bantu batandukanye: mu muntu useka nk’uko wasetse bwa mbere, mu mwana uhamagara umuntu akamwita “Cheri”, mu mwijima w’umugoroba iyo ntekereza ko wenda nawe uri kure uciye bugufi utekereza kuri njye.
Icyo gihe, ndahagarara gato nkavuga mu mutima nti:
“Uri kure, ariko uriho. Uri kure, ariko uri kumwe nanjye mu buryo bwagutse kurusha intera. Uri kure, ariko umutima wawe wangumyeho.”
Hari igihe umuntu ataguhamagara, ariko umutima we ukakohereza ubusabane.
Ibyo byose ndabyakira. Kuko iyo ukumbuye, ugira ubwitonzi. Urakomeza. Utegereza. Uzirikana ko urukumbuzi si intege nke, ni ikimenyetso ko hari uwaguhozaga ku mutima, kandi ko nawe wamusizemo ibitagira ibisobanuro byoroshye.
Uyu munsi nkumbuye. Ntabwo bikabije. Ntabwo ari agahinda. Ni ugukumbura kuzuye icyizere.
Nzongera kukubona. N’ubwo ntazi igihe, ndabizi: aho uzanyura hose, urakomeza kuba igice cyanjye. Naho igihe tuzongera guhuza amaso, urukumbuzi rwose ruzavamo ijwi rimwe:
“Wari uhari kuva kera. Sinigeze ngusiga.”
