Ibiranga umubyeyi mubi cyangwa umubyeyi gito.

Ibiranga umubyeyi mubi cyangwa umubyeyi gito.

 

Ibiranga umubyeyi mubi cyangwa umubyeyi gito ni imyitwarire cyangwa ibikorwa bidahwitse umubyeyi akorera cyangwa agirira umwana we, bikaba byangiza imibereho ye, uburere bwe, ndetse n’iterambere rye. Dore bimwe mu biranga umubyeyi mubi:

 

1. Kutita ku mwana

• Kudaha umwana igihe cyangwa urukundo.
• Kutamenya uko umwana ameze, ibibazo afite, cyangwa ibyishimo bye.
• Kudasura ishuri rye, kumureka akagenda uko yishakiye.

 

2. Gukoresha ihohoterwa

• Kumukubitira ubusa cyangwa kumukoresha imirimo ivunanye adakwiriye.
• Gukoresha amagambo amutesha agaciro (kumukwena, kumubwira ko ntacyo amaze).
• Guhora amubwira nabi cyangwa kumutera ubwoba.

 

3. Kumutererana mu gihe amukeneye

• Kutamuba hafi igihe arwaye cyangwa afite ibibazo.
• Kutamushakira ibimufasha (imyambaro, ibyo kurya, kwiga, kwivuza).

 

4. Kumwigisha imyitwarire mibi

• Kumuha urugero rubi (nko kunywa inzoga, kurwana, kuvuga nabi).
• Kumwigisha kwanga abandi, kumena amabanga y’abandi, cyangwa kwishora mu busambanyi.

 

5. Guhitamo kumwima amahirwe

• Kumubuza kwiga cyangwa gukurikirana impano ze.
• Kumubuza ubwisanzure ku byo akunda cyangwa ibyo ashoboye.

 

6. Kutumva cyangwa kudaha agaciro ibitekerezo bye

• Guhora amucyaha no kumusuzugura.
• Kutamwumvira igihe ashaka kugira icyo avuga cyangwa kugisha inama.

 

Umubyeyi mwiza si uha abana gusa ibyo kurya n’imyambaro, ahubwo ni ubitaho mu buryo bw’umubiri, ubwenge, n’umutima. Iyo umubyeyi akoze amakosa, akwiye kuyasabira imbabazi no kugerageza gukosora imyitwarire ye, kuko umwana yiga ahanini ibyo abona aho aba.

Dusesengure ingingo kuyindi mu zavuzwe haruguru zirangaumubyeyi mubi, umubyeyi gito.

 

1. Kutita ku mwana

“kutita ku mwana” ni kimwe mu biranga umubyeyi mubi, kandi ni ikibazo gikomeye cyane mu burere bw’umwana. Reka dusobanure birambuye icyo bivuze n’ingaruka zabyo:

Kutita ku mwana bivuga kudaha umwana urukundo, ubufasha, igihe, cyangwa uburere bukwiye. Ni igihe umubyeyi ahugira mu bindi akirengagiza inshingano zo kurera, kwita, no gukurikirana imibereho y’umwana.

 

 Ibyagaragaza ko umubyeyi atita ku mwana:

• Ntamenya aho umwana ari cyangwa ibyo arimo.
• Ntazi icyo umwana akeneye mu buzima bwa buri munsi (ibyo kurya, imyambaro, uburwayi…).
• Ntamuganiriza, ntamuha umwanya ngo amwumve.
• Nta ruhare agira mu myigire ye (ntajya ku ishuri, ntamubaza amanota).
• Umwana aba arira cyangwa afite ibibazo, umubyeyi ntabyiteho.
• Iyo umwana ashatse kumuganiriza, umubyeyi aramwirukana cyangwa akamwirengagiza.

 

Ingaruka ku mwana:

• Kwigunga: Umwana yumva nta wumwitayeho, akabura icyizere n’urukundo.
• Kugira ikibazo cy’imitekerereze: Abura icyerekezo n’intumbero.
• Gukura afite umujinya cyangwa ipfunwe: Yumva atari uw’agaciro.
• Kwishora mu bibi: Nta muntu umuyobora, bikamushyira mu byaha, ibiyobyabwenge, ubusambanyi, n’ibindi.
• Kugira ibikomere byo mu mutima (trauma): Bigira ingaruka mu buzima bwe bwose, no mu rukundo azagira ejo hazaza.

 

Uburyo bwo gukosora:

• Gutega amatwi umwana, ukamumenya neza.
• Kugenera umwana igihe cyo kumuganiriza, kumwereka ko umukunda.
• Kumukurikirana mu mashuri no mu buzima bwe bwa buri munsi.
• Kumushakira ibyo akeneye ku rwego ushoboye, ariko mu rukundo.
• Kumuha urugero rwiza, no kumwigisha gukunda no kwiyubaha.

 

2. Gukoresha ihohoterwa

Gukoresha ihohoterwa ni kimwe mu bikorwa bigira ingaruka zikomeye cyane ku mwana, kandi ni kimwe mu biranga umubyeyi mubi.

Gukoresha ihohoterwa bivuga gukorera umwana ibikorwa bimubabaza ku mubiri, ku mutima, cyangwa ku bwonko, bishobora kuba mu buryo butandukanye:

 

Ubwoko bw’ihohoterwa umubyeyi ashobora gukoresha:

1. Ihohoterwa ryo ku mubiri:

• Kumukubita cyangwa kumukomeretsa.
• Kumuhata imirimo imurenze ubushobozi (kumukoresha nk’umukozi).
• Kumwigarurira, kumufungira mu cyumba, cyangwa kumubuza ibiryo.

 

2. Ihohoterwa ryo ku mutima n’ubwenge:

• Kumukwena, kumutuka, guhora amugereranya n’abandi nabi.
• Kumubwira ko ntacyo amaze, ko ntacyo azageraho, cyangwa kumwita amazina mabi.
• Guhora umubwira amagambo amuca intege cyangwa amutera ipfunwe.

3. Ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina:

• Gukora cyangwa kwemera ko undi muntu akorera umwana ibikorwa bishingiye ku gitsina, birimo kumusambanya cyangwa kumufata ku ngufu (ibi ni icyaha gikomeye cyane mu mategeko no mu muco).

 

Ingaruka ku mwana:

• Ubwoba bukabije: Atinya kuvuga, gutekereza, cyangwa kugaragaza amarangamutima ye.
• Kudakura neza mu buryo bw’ubwonko cyangwa umubiri.
• Kugira igikomere cy’igihe kirekire (trauma): Bishobora kumukurikirana kugeza akuze.
• Kwiyanga cyangwa kwanga abandi: Yumva ko nta gaciro afite.
• Kwigira nabi cyangwa kwishora mu bikorwa bibi: Ashaka gukuraho ipfunwe, cyangwa kumva ko ari ko isi imeze.
• Kwiyahura cyangwa kwifuza gupfa: Iyo ihohoterwa rikabije.

 

Icyo umubyeyi yagombye gukora:

• Aho gukoresha ihohoterwa, umubyeyi akwiye kwigisha umwana akoresheje urukundo, kwihangana no kuganira.
• Kwemera amakosa no kubabarira umwana aho bibaye ngombwa.
• Gukoresha uburyo bwo kumwigisha atamukomeretsa: urugero, kumuganiriza, kumufata mu biganza no kumwereka icyo yakoze nabi mu rukundo.

 

Ihohoterwa si uburere, ni igikomere. Umwana utarahohotewe ni we ubasha gukura neza, agakunda ubuzima n’abantu, kandi akazabera n’abandi urugero rwiza.

 

3. Gutererana umwana

Gutererana umwana mu gihe akeneye umubyeyi ni ikibazo gikomeye cyane, kandi ni ikimenyetso gikomeye cy’umubyeyi utuzuza inshingano ze. Iyi ni imwe mu myitwarire igaragaza umubyeyi mubi, kuko umwana aba akeneye cyane umubyeyi we mu bihe bikomeye no mu gihe ari mu kaga.

 

Kumutererana bivuga kureka umwana wenyine, nta kumuba hafi, nta kumufasha, cyangwa kumwirengagiza igihe akeneye ubufasha, urukundo, ubujyanama, cyangwa umutima w’impuhwe.

 

Ibimenyetso by’umubyeyi utererana umwana:

• Iyo umwana arwaye, ntamujyana kwa muganga.
• Umwana afite ikibazo (nko kwirukanwa ku ishuri, kubura ibikoresho, agize impanuka), umubyeyi ntacyo abikoraho.
• Umwana afite agahinda, acitse intege, cyangwa akennye, ariko umubyeyi ntamuba hafi.
• Umwana arashonje cyangwa yambaye ubusa, nyamara umubyeyi afite ubushobozi bwo kumufasha, ariko akamutererana.
• Umwana akeneye inama cyangwa gufashwa gufata icyemezo, umubyeyi akamubwira ngo yikemurire ibibazo bye wenyine.

 

Ingaruka ku mwana:

• Kwigunga no kwiyanga: Umwana yumva nta muntu umwitayeho, bityo akibona nk’utari ingenzi.
• Kubura icyizere: Umwana ntamenya ko ashoboye cyangwa ko hari umuntu wamutega amatwi.
• Kwishora mu kibi: Agerageza gushaka “abakunzi” cyangwa inshuti z’umuhanda ngo zimwubahe, bikamushora mu biyobyabwenge, ubusambanyi, ubujura, n’ibindi.
• Kudakura neza mu bitekerezo n’imibanire.
• Kugira umujinya uhoraho: Akura yuzuye inzika, ashobora no kuzaba umubyeyi uhohotera.

 

Icyo umubyeyi yagombye gukora:

• Kuba hafi y’umwana, cyane cyane mu bihe bigoye, akamwereka ko atari wenyine.
• Kumuba hafi mu rugendo rwe rw’amasomo, ubuzima, n’iterambere.
• Kumva ibibazo bye, akamuganiriza, akamugira inama.
• Kumushyigikira mu buryo bushoboka: haba mu bitekerezo, mu buryo bw’amafaranga, cyangwa mu bikorwa bifatika.

 

Umwana ugira umubyeyi umuhora iruhande, ni we ubasha gukura yishimye, yizeye, kandi w’umugabo cyangwa w’umugore ushoboye. Kumuba hafi si uko uba ufite byinshi, ni uko uba ufite umutima.

 

4. kumwigisha imyitwarire mibi

Kumwigisha imyitwarire mibi bivuga kumuha urugero rubi cyangwa kumutoza gukora ibyangwa n’imico mibi. Ibi bishobora gukorwa mu buryo bubiri:

1. Mu buryo butaziguye (indirect); igihe umubyeyi yitwara nabi mu maso y’umwana, akabyigana.
2. Mu buryo buziguye (direct); igihe umubyeyi yigisha umwana gukora ikibi, cyangwa akabimushyigikiramo.

 

Ingero z’imyitwarire mibi umubyeyi ashobora kwigisha umwana:

Mu myitwarire n’imibanire:

• Gutuka abandi, gutonganya cyangwa kurwana mu maso y’abana.
• Kwigisha umwana kwanga abandi cyangwa kugira inzika.
• Kumuha uburenganzira bwo kuvuga nabi cyangwa gukora ibyo ashatse atagenzuwe.

 

Mu mikorere n’imyifatire:

• Kwigisha umwana kubeshya, kwiba, cyangwa kunyereza ibintu.
• Kumuha uburenganzira bwo kwaka ruswa cyangwa gucisha bugufi abandi.
• Gutoza umwana kudaha agaciro ibintu by’abandi (gusenya, gutwika, gutuka…)

 

Mu bijyanye n’imibereho:

• Gufata inzoga cyangwa ibiyobyabwenge mu maso y’umwana.
• Kumuha inzoga cyangwa itabi, cyangwa kumubwira ko ari ibisanzwe.
• Kumuha amafaranga atagira icyo amusabye, akayakoresha nabi, kandi nta burere abona.

 

Mu bijyanye n’ubusambanyi:

• Kurebera umwana areba filime z’ubusambanyi.
• Kumureka agataha atinze, atagira aho ajya amenyesheje.
• Kumushyigikira mu bikorwa by’ubusambanyi, cyangwa kutamucyaha iyo abyishoyemo.

 

Ingaruka ku mwana:

• Kurera nabi: Akura yumva ko ikibi ari ibisanzwe.
• Kugira imyitwarire mibi mu muryango cyangwa ishuri: Akabera abandi urugero rubi.
• Kubura icyerekezo: Ntamenya icyo kwita cyiza cyangwa kibi.
• Kuba umuntu w’umunyagitugu cyangwa utemera inama.
• Kugira ibibazo bikomeye mu buzima bw’ejo hazaza: nk’ibibazo by’amategeko, kwangirika k’umutima n’umubiri, n’ibindi.

 

Icyo umubyeyi yagombye gukora:

• Kugira imyitwarire wifuzaho umwana.
• Kuganiriza umwana ibyiza n’ibibi, akamwigisha gutandukanya ibyo agomba gukora n’ibyo agomba kwirinda.
• Kumwigisha guhitamo neza inshuti, no kwirinda gukurikira abandi mu byaha.
• Kumuhana mu rukundo igihe yakoze ikosa, ariko akanasobanurirwa impamvu.

 

Umwana ni nk’impapuro zitarandikwaho, ibyo umubyeyi yandikaho ni byo bizamugenga. Iyo umubyeyi yigisha umwana imyitwarire mibi, aba ari nko kumucira ishyanga mbere y’igihe.

 

5. Guhitamo kumwima amahirwe

Guhitamo kumwima amahirwe bivuga kubuza umwana amahirwe y’ingenzi akwiye kugira kugira ngo akure neza, yige, atinyuke, anubake ejo heza. Ibi bishobora gukorwa mu buryo bushobora kugaragara cyangwa butagaragara, ariko bikagira ingaruka zikomeye.

 

Ingero z’uko umubyeyi ashobora kwima umwana amahirwe:

Mu burezi:

• Kumubuza kujya ku ishuri kandi ubishoboye.
• Kumusabira cyangwa kumuhatira gukomeza imirimo yo mu rugo aho kumwohereza kwiga.
• Kumubuza kwiga ibyo akunda cyangwa ibyo ashoboye (nko kumubuza kujya mu mashuri y’ubuhanzi, tekiniki, ibijyanye n’imikino…).

 

Mu mpano n’ubushobozi:

• Kumubuza gukora ibyo akunda cyangwa ibyo afitemo impano.
• Kumuca intege iyo agaragaje ubushake bwo kwihugura cyangwa kugerageza ikintu gishya.
• Kumubwira ko adashoboye, aho kumutera ingabo mu bitugu.

 

Mu gutekereza no gufata icyemezo:

• Kumubuza kugira ijambo ku bimureba.
• Guhora umufatira ibyemezo byose, atagira uruhare mu biganiro cyangwa mu myanzuro.
• Kumubuza kwiga uko yakwigirira icyizere no kwiyungura ubumenyi.

 

Mu mibanire n’abandi:

• Kumubuza kujya mu matorero, mu makipe, mu marushanwa y’urubyiruko cyangwa indi mishinga.
• Kumuha imirimo myinshi imubuza gusabana n’abandi bana.
• Kumubuza kugira inshuti cyangwa kumufungirana.

 

Ingaruka ku mwana:

• Kubura icyizere no kwiyanga: Yumva ko ntacyo ashoboye cyangwa ko nta gaciro afite.
• Kugira ipfunwe no kudasobanuka mu bandi: Akumva ko abandi ari bo bafite amahirwe.
• Gusigara inyuma mu myigire no mu buzima: Nta terambere rikorwa iyo amahirwe yabuze.
• Guhorana umubabaro: Yumva arimo gufungirwa imbere, agatekereza nabi ku buzima.
• Kwishora mu byaha cyangwa kurambirwa ubuzima: Agera aho yumva nta cyo bimaze, ashobora no kwigira nabi.

 

Icyo umubyeyi akwiye gukora:

• Kumenya impano z’umwana no kumutera inkunga ngo azikoreshe neza.
• Kumufasha kwiga, uko ubushobozi buhagaze, ndetse no kumushakira amahirwe y’iterambere.
• Kumuteza imbere mu bitekerezo: kumwumvira, kumugisha inama, no kumutoza gutekereza.
• Kumuha amahirwe yo kwiyerekana: kumushyigikira mu marushanwa, imishinga y’urubyiruko, n’ibindi byamufasha kwiyubaka.

 

Umwana wimwa amahirwe ni nk’ururabo rwumishijwe rutarabya. Iyo amahirwe atanzwe kare, akenshi atanga icyizere cy’ejo heza.

 

6. Kutumva cyangwa kudaha agaciro ibitekerezo by’umwana

Ni igihe umwana ashaka kuvuga ibimuri ku mutima, gutanga igitekerezo, cyangwa kwifashisha uburenganzira bwe bwo gutekereza, ariko umubyeyi:

• Akamuca mu ijambo,
• Akamuseka,
• Akamubwira ko ibyo avuga nta shingiro bifite,
• Cyangwa akamubuza kuvuga rwose.

Ni nko kumubwira mu magambo cyangwa mu bikorwa ngo “wowe ntacyo uvuze cyangwa ntacyo ushoboye gutekereza.”

 Ibimenyetso by’umubyeyi utumva umwana:

• Umwana ashaka kugira icyo avuga, umubyeyi akamubwira ngo “ceceka”.
• Ntamubaza icyo atekereza ku bibazo by’umuryango.
• Ntamwumva iyo afite impungenge, ikibazo, cyangwa icyifuzo.
• Aramuseka cyangwa akamusuzugura iyo atanze igitekerezo.
• Ntamuhana igihe atabaye inyangamugayo cyangwa yakoze ibibi
• Ahora amuca intege.

 

Ingaruka ku mwana:

• Kubura icyizere: Yumva ko nta gaciro afite mu maso ya rubanda.
• Kugira ubwoba bwo kuvuga: Ntamenya kuvuga ibyo atekereza, no mu bandi abura ijambo.
• Kugira intege nke mu gufata ibyemezo: Buri gihe akeneye kubwirwa icyo gukora, ntamenya kwigira.
• Kwigunga: Atekereza ibye wenyine kuko abura aho abiganirira.
• Kwishora mu bikorwa bibi: Ashobora gushaka abo yumva bamuha agaciro, n’ubwo baba ari abantu batari beza.

 

Icyo umubyeyi akwiye gukora:

• Kumva umwana igihe ashaka kuvuga, n’ubwo yaba akiri muto.
• Kumugisha inama, ntabe ari we umufatira imyanzuro yose.
• Kumushimira igihe atanze igitekerezo cyiza, n’ubwo cyaba gito.
• Kumutoza kuvuga afite ikinyabupfura, no kumwereka ko agaciro ke katagomba guteshwa.
• Kumufasha kwiyubakamo icyizere no gutinyuka, kugira ngo n’ahandi atinyuke gutanga ibitekerezo.

 

Kumva umwana ni ukumwubaka. Iyo umwana yumvise ko ijambo rye rifite agaciro, akura ari umuntu wiyubashye, ushobora gutanga umusanzu we aho ari hose.

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